As a nurse working with people with addictions, I have long struggled to find my place in a system that has been created and evolved in response to the truth that addiction present a crisis, an out-of-control situation that is excruciating and devastating for the sense of the individual, others and the relational fabric of the community. I will share how I discovered wholeness in my work, how this has changed my work perspective, relationship with others and my sense and experience of self. An important shift in my work happened through the understanding of shadow and the connection of addiction, trauma and our physiology as was the shift from a monolithic to a differentiated understanding of self. The experience of needing to give up the idea of wholeness allowed me to start contributing to the process of creation and expression towards and of wholeness.